Loosing your self-esteem.

Welome.
We have talked about how we can build our self-esteem, however could it be lost? If yes how do people with enviable self-esteem loose their strength? The best answer that we can give now is that: when you stop doing whatever it was that made you great, you will stop being great. It may not happen suddenly but over time, the person will diminish until he becomes timid or fearful. But there is an act that speeds up this mistrust, disbelieve process in oneself, it is called destructive criticism.
Generally, citicism is a serious examination and judgement of something. Such judgements arises when something or somebody fall short of our expectation. This usually begins as complaints. Often we normally have complaints with people we spend time with either at the place of work or at home. But there exists some differences between complaints and criticism. Two types of criticism exists namely: constructive criticism and destructive criticism. When people give destructive criticism, they attack your personality, magnifying the fault you committed and try to bind it with your previous performance all in the name of sobataging you. People's trust or mistrust always has its way of penetrating your unconsciousness making you belief the lies. If people believe you, your self-esteem will soar like the eagle. Hence the reason why philosophers says you should hang around those who believe in your strengths and will tell you the truth concerning your weaknesses.
People who love you will tell you the truth while preserving your feelings or self-esteem. This is called constructive criticism.
Nuggets in giving constructive criticism:
i) Protect the individual's feelings and self-esteem;
ii) Emphasize on the future and not on the past ie "what are (or is) the way forward";
(iii) Focus on the performance or behaviour and not the person eg. "What you did is not good enough" instead of saying "you are such an idiot".
(iv) Express yourself in complaint mode and not criticism mode. Complaint mode can be expressed in this manner: (1) Here is how I feel (I'm angry) (2) about a very specific   situation (you didn't cook the food) and not "you are such an idiot". (3) This is what I need or prefer.
(v) Be specific on what attitudinal change change you expect from him in the future. It will be great if you wake up at 05:00am to prepare the breakfast. You must equally be solution oriented. "Next time you should validate every facts before responding to any email". You shouldn't reply emails when you are angry;
(vi) Ask ways by which you can be of assistance in his change process or in correcting the present mistake(s).
Till next time when we shall be reading a new episode, don't forget to always be the best version of yourself.
Thank you.

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